Monday, August 13, 2007
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Anyway, any reader who can send us a photo depicting a trash pile larger than the one in our last Trash-arazzi posting will win a limited edition "Trash-arazzi" t-shirt.
"Trash-arazzo" for guys, "Trash-arazza" for the ladies, naturally.
Send shots to email@example.com.
24th between 5th and 6th
Have a look at this pathetic pile of garbage--do you see the woman walking behind the wall-o-trash? She was of above average height. We saw her on the street. She was at least 5-7 or taller. However, this physically impressive woman nearly vanished behind that massive barrier of refuse. We feared for her life!
After we snapped this picture we tore across the street and dove Commando-like over the bags in hopes of rescuing her from certain doom, via trash-pile suffocation. Luckily she managed to shimmy her way past the bulging bags and narrowly escaped without harm, save for two severely numbed nostrils due to the excessive pressure she applied while pinching her nose shut.
We were not so lucky. Our heroic dive left us bruised and battered; not to mention our heart, broken by the mere site of the wall-o-trash.
This 6-foot wall-o-trash ran 30-feet-long on 24th street...and it stayed there for 12+hours--we saw the trash men remove the pile this morning. Why can't all trash be put out an hour or two before pickup? Isn't that how its done in Tokyo? And Paris? Not the night before, when it can rot on the street for hours on end as a feast for rats, vagrants and B and T's from Eugene (what, Long Islanders gotta eat too!)
Monday, August 6, 2007
- "I think you've hit on the perfect idea. The places people are allowed to smoke should be where the City dumps its garbage! Oh, Trashy, GREAT IDEA!!!!"
Dear reader, we never meant to imply smokers should have to sit near garbage...in fact we are outraged smokers need to sit near garbage. They are putting enough garbage in their lungs already, they certainly don't need to sit on garbage as well.
- "The garbage problem is unhealthy, gross and frankly an embarrassment to all of us. I once was stopped for directions by a group of foreign tourists (first-time visitors to NYC), and they were shocked to discover how dirty NYC was and asked how that could be. In a city that’s so admired around the world, a place so many people can only dream of visiting, imagine the shock of finding piles and piles of garbage (and food!) all over the streets."
Dear reader, you don't need to preach to the choir, we're with you. We were asked for directions this weekend--someone looking for a bar on Bowery--and we were so shamed by the idea of this tourist encountering trash on their walk through the LES that we gently coaxed them into hanging out in Soho instead. Of course just a block away on Prince street we saw a monstrous pile of trash anyway...at least there were Prada bags in that pile.
- "I completely understand the need to keep our environment clean, healthy adn litter free, but violently accositng those who do is not the best way to go about it. In fact, a friend and I were viciously attacked by some fat, balding hippy in Davis Square by my school the other day and he followed us into an ATM vestible, hollering at my friend for dropping a receipt on the ground and not picking it up. I disagree with her action, but as a young woman, I was afraid for the safety of my person. So, if anything, yell at the person if you must (although its really not the MATURE thing to do). But don't terrorize people. I've got the right to drink bottled water, smoke cigarettes, fornicate, worship the devil and drop shit on the city streets if i feel like it. This is America."
Dear reader, this is America, you're right about that. And please know we never meant to encourage violence. In fact we never mentioned anything of the sort. We did detail our pure anger directed towards litterers and we can't hide that fact. But we didn't encourage violence towards these heathen. And yes, dear reader, as an American you have the right to smoke cigarettes, and fornicate, and even worship the devil--as long as you are fornicating and smoking and devil worshipping in the privacy of your own home, one-hour motel room or designated public space. You see, as an American you can't fornicate anywhere you please...these things called laws prohibit that sort of thing. It should be noted these same complicated laws prohibit you from littering, i.e. "dropping shit on the city street." Quite frankly, it's Americans like you--Americans that adhere to such an arrogant and ignorant thought process--that give all other Americans a bad name and keep our city streets covered in trash. So my fellow Americans in closing, we pray...God bless America...God bless fornication and bottled water, and God bless those crazy things called laws.
You see, trash doesn't just make for a smelly, dirty eyesore it also stains our streets and these stains are...smelly...dirty...eyesores.
So at the end of the day, you can take the trash off the street, but you can't take the...street...off the, trash...?!? Hold up, that doesn't make sense...does it?
Wait a minute...fool me once, and shame on...you? Fool me twice and...what was that line President Dubya used?
Oy...it's been a long Monday.
Friday, August 3, 2007
-Maverick5483 chimes in with, "a goat's rectum"...that's downright horrid. One question, Mr. Maverick, how do you know if a goat's rectum is dirty? Hmmmm.
-Claudia says dirtier than, "Sicilian revenge"...which is truly quite dirty...and brings to mind our favorite line from the Princess Bride. All hail Wallace Shawn.