- "I think you've hit on the perfect idea. The places people are allowed to smoke should be where the City dumps its garbage! Oh, Trashy, GREAT IDEA!!!!"
Dear reader, we never meant to imply smokers should have to sit near garbage...in fact we are outraged smokers need to sit near garbage. They are putting enough garbage in their lungs already, they certainly don't need to sit on garbage as well.
- "The garbage problem is unhealthy, gross and frankly an embarrassment to all of us. I once was stopped for directions by a group of foreign tourists (first-time visitors to NYC), and they were shocked to discover how dirty NYC was and asked how that could be. In a city that’s so admired around the world, a place so many people can only dream of visiting, imagine the shock of finding piles and piles of garbage (and food!) all over the streets."
Dear reader, you don't need to preach to the choir, we're with you. We were asked for directions this weekend--someone looking for a bar on Bowery--and we were so shamed by the idea of this tourist encountering trash on their walk through the LES that we gently coaxed them into hanging out in Soho instead. Of course just a block away on Prince street we saw a monstrous pile of trash anyway...at least there were Prada bags in that pile.
- "I completely understand the need to keep our environment clean, healthy adn litter free, but violently accositng those who do is not the best way to go about it. In fact, a friend and I were viciously attacked by some fat, balding hippy in Davis Square by my school the other day and he followed us into an ATM vestible, hollering at my friend for dropping a receipt on the ground and not picking it up. I disagree with her action, but as a young woman, I was afraid for the safety of my person. So, if anything, yell at the person if you must (although its really not the MATURE thing to do). But don't terrorize people. I've got the right to drink bottled water, smoke cigarettes, fornicate, worship the devil and drop shit on the city streets if i feel like it. This is America."
Dear reader, this is America, you're right about that. And please know we never meant to encourage violence. In fact we never mentioned anything of the sort. We did detail our pure anger directed towards litterers and we can't hide that fact. But we didn't encourage violence towards these heathen. And yes, dear reader, as an American you have the right to smoke cigarettes, and fornicate, and even worship the devil--as long as you are fornicating and smoking and devil worshipping in the privacy of your own home, one-hour motel room or designated public space. You see, as an American you can't fornicate anywhere you please...these things called laws prohibit that sort of thing. It should be noted these same complicated laws prohibit you from littering, i.e. "dropping shit on the city street." Quite frankly, it's Americans like you--Americans that adhere to such an arrogant and ignorant thought process--that give all other Americans a bad name and keep our city streets covered in trash. So my fellow Americans in closing, we pray...God bless America...God bless fornication and bottled water, and God bless those crazy things called laws.